Thursday, March 24, 2011

Rejections

I was wrong.  I realise that now.  But not for the reasons that you might think.

After I came back from meeting everyone in Vegas a whole load of things happened.  I got shouted at by several people because of what they perceived I had done, I shouted at one or two people, I took a two weeks break from playing World of Warcraft to get my head in order…  Then I came back to my guild, determined to fix everything, bright and shining with an almost religious zeal to make it all into One Big Happy Family.

Only it wasn’t like that.  People were trying to tell me that they were unhappy, but they couldn’t articulate why – or I just wasn’t understanding.  Other people were determined to try to help but it was like trying to light a candle with a flamethrower.  Others had no idea what was going on.  There were undercurrents and overtones and riptides, and it ended up with the guild splitting apart, with a bunch of people forming a second guild.

I was stunned by this.  I really had no idea this could happen, and I didn’t get it.  I thought we were a family, and I now feel I put too much emphasis on that.  As I said last time, you might think someone is a certain way but you made a subjective assumption based on your limited means of interaction with them.  What that also means is that you have to be very clear that you are not limiting yourself.  You HAVE to see what else is around you.  If people are unhappy, if drama exists, you can’t just pretend it’s okay and turn everything into a big happy family.

That is where I was wrong.  That is the thing I have been striving to learn.  I was maybe right to trust other people – but I was wrong to trust myself.

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